War of the Heart
by Pinkwald
Summary: [Danny x Clara War AU] When Danny Pink rejoins the army during the time of war, he and Clara struggle to continue their relationship split apart by such a distance. But is there any way that things can get any worse?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N **__So, here's chapter 1 of my __super angsty__ Pinkwald war AU. Let me know what you guys think, and let me know how to improve, anything you want included, whatever! Hope you enjoy!_

Danny stood and stared into the mirror. He was scared, he felt empty, and all that made today better was that Clara was still by his side. She wouldn't be tomorrow. He felt her fingers lightly move across his collar, nimbly flattening the fabric out and neatening it a little. Clara looked up at him, moving her hands down to hold his, fingers lacing with his. Neither of them spoke for several seconds, Clara looking up at Danny reassuringly as he looked at her with terror in his eyes. Clara was the one who made the first move.

"You're gonna be okay." She whispered softly, giving him a small smile. She was going to miss him, but she was proud. He'd overcome so much to do this all over again. "And I'm so proud of you. Just… Keep your head down." She said, dropping her head to look at the floor. Danny moved at this point, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. He was frightened of going back to the army, but it had become mandatory. He knew what was going on; he'd been through it all before: a new war. Men were being encouraged to sign up and do their country proud. He knew that he had to sign back up, he'd been in service before and he'd never get away with refusing to go back. However much he'd suffered as a former soldier, as a man who'd come out of the army changed, he had to go back.

"Thank you, Clara Oswald." He smiled down at her, looking back toward the mirror. Danny decided he thought he looked quite smart, almost as if he'd missed the uniform and the way it made him feel. The power it gave him, the respect it earnt him. He didn't feel like he was as much of a man when he wasn't in this uniform. At least now, he had to put the brave face on. Danny squeezed her hand and nodded to her. He was ready to go.

# # #

They stood together at the airport, surrounded by other couples, families, all with men and women dressed in the same uniform, ready to fight. Clara didn't want to let go of her Danny, she was afraid that she was going to lose him forever. She knew what happened in wars, she'd seen them, fought in them, but they were all in another life. Danny had experienced this before. He'd come back alive, Clara _knew _he would. He could get through this again and this would all be over, they'd be happy and safe again.

"S'not gonna be the same without you." Clara said, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She didn't want him to leave; she'd _never _wanted to lose him, even for a minute. Danny would be back before too long, though. Every soldier came back once every three months for a week or two, and Clara couldn't wait for it. "School's gonna be different. No boys in sixth form, no more of you, Adrian, all of our boys… God, I feel so sorry for the year 11 boys. They must be terrified."

Danny smiled a little, knowing how scared she was. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say, but he didn't want to leave her side until someone dragged him away.

"I love you Clara." He whispered softly, moving to press a kiss to her lips. It was long and tender, filled with passion. Clara returned it just as desperately, not wanting to remove her lips from his, even when she had to breathe. When she finally pulled away, Clara took deep breaths and smiled, laughing a little.

"I'm gonna miss that, too." She pointed out, happy that the two had fallen into their natural relationship once more, rather than being forced into a scared couple, afraid to show any sort of emotion. Now they were just happy to be with each other, both looking like they were teenagers with their first love, only it was so much more than that. Before the war had started, the two had been planning their future together, their lives. Danny was going to ask Clara to marry him; Clara was going to ask if he wanted to think about a family. War didn't just affect the soldiers, but the lives of their families, the lives of people that were yet to be born. Clara still didn't understand why things like this happened, not really. She didn't think she ever would.

"I'm gonna miss you, Clara. More than anything else." He said, taking out his wallet from his pocket and opening it up, showing her the picture of the two of them together. Clara smiled at the photo, taking her purse from her bag and pulling out her own picture. "Emails, letters, whatever you want. Depends how much you wanna hear from me." Danny said jokingly. "I'll send you a message once I arrive, let you know I'm there and safe. I'll write as often as I can, I promise, I'll try and talk to you once every day. They might even have Skype by now." He smiled, moving to press another quick kiss to her lips. "It's not world war two, we've got more than one way to talk now. It'll be like I was hardly gone; this three month's will fly passed."

Danny turned his head to look behind him, people starting to get onto the plane. He took a deep breath and looked down at Clara, putting on a more serious face before offering her a salute. Clara couldn't help but laugh a little, raising her hand to her forehead and giving a mock salute with two fingers. The corners of his lips cracked a smile, before he turned away from her and began to march towards the plane.

The second Danny's back was turned; Clara's eyes began to water. She was scared, and she knew how serious this was. He might never come home again, and this could be the last time she ever saw him. Time froze as Clara watched him walking away from her to join the other soldiers, and she ran up to the barriers, pushing passed families and children waving goodbye to their husbands, fathers, mothers, and sisters. She knew they were just as desperate as she was, but for once, she didn't care. Clara wanted to be at the front and she wanted Danny to see her again. Just one last time. As she got to the barriers, she looked at the crowd of soldiers urgently, trying to find Danny. She couldn't let that be her goodbye to him.

As her eyes finally lay on the man she loved so much, she felt herself choking up with tears. Clara let out a few sobs before she yelled as loudly as she could.

"Danny!" She yelled, noticing that his head perked up slightly at her voice. Even if he couldn't see her, at least he could hear her. "Danny, I love you!" She sobbed, starting to cry properly. Danny wanted to run up to her and hold her until she stopped crying, but he couldn't. He wanted to yell back how much he loved her, but he couldn't. He was a soldier now, not a boyfriend. Danny felt his legs moving him up the stairs of the plane, leaving him cut off from Clara completely. He'd never felt so alone in his life. He'd finally found someone worth holding onto, and he was losing her. As he sat himself down, his fingers scrambled inside his trouser pocket, pulling the photo of them together out to look at one last time. Glancing out the window, Danny caught a glimpse of Clara, sobbing into the barriers. He wanted to cry too, but he couldn't. He slowly brought the picture to his lips and pressed a kiss on it gently, before pocketing it once more. This was goodbye.

# # #

Clara returned to their flat and sat herself on the sofa with a glass of red wine. It may only have been three in the afternoon, but it had already been a long day. She'd just lost Danny, and she didn't know how long for. The wine was a comfort, not one she'd get used to, but one all the same. If nothing else, at least she knew she wouldn't be crying anymore, because all her tears had been shed. All that was left to do now was sit and wait, constantly refreshing her emails, Facebook, texts, waiting for Danny to say he was safe.


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as they landed, Danny rushed to find some sort of internet connection, a computer, anything to put himself in touch with Clara again. He knew his behaviour was going to be frowned upon, that he had to control himself. He was in a warzone now, he had to forget about Clara and focus on staying alive, but he just couldn't let himself do that. Not yet, anyway. He managed to scrape two minutes on the computer, quickly sending Clara an email to tell her he'd landed safely, that he loved her, and that he'd speak to her as soon as he could, however long that may be. It broke his heart that it could be days before he saw her face or heard her voice again, but he'd agreed to fight in the army again, and he knew what it entailed.

# # #

Clara was, of course, still sat at her laptop when Danny's email arrived. If nothing else, she felt relieved that he had arrived safely, and that they hadn't run into trouble on the flight. Many of the squadrons were being shot out of the sky before they even managed to get close to the front lines, which had scared Clara more than she cared to let on in front of Danny. Even though she could tell from his short email and what he said that they wouldn't be able to speak for long, or all that often, she was just glad that every now and then he'd tell her he was safe.

Her mind now at ease, Clara sat back on the sofa, kicking her feet under her legs as she pulled out a pile of marking. With a little hope in her heart that Danny might be given the night off, Clara replied to the email. Maybe he'd be able to have a proper conversation with her, since she was already missing him, but she doubted it.

# # #

The first night away from home was always the hardest. It was last time he went away, and it was again this time. While everyone had tried to appear strong as they left their loved ones, it was clear they were all missing them dearly. The only thing keeping them from eating in a sad silence was the sound of gunshots not too far away, causing everyone to chatter in a desperate attempt to mask the noise. They were all scared, of course. They knew what was happening out there, and even though they had willingly joined the army, they were still terrified. Danny had sat himself with a group of other men, who all seemed to be new to the army. He smiled at them as he sat next to one man and held his hand out to shake, the other man grasping it firmly and introducing himself.

"Second Lieutenant Parson, Jeremy." He said politely, offering Danny a nervous smile back. Danny could tell that the poor man was terrified, lowest ranking too, which meant this would be his first time in deployment after training. No wonder the man was frightened.

"Captain Danny Pink." Danny replied, resting an elbow on the table as he began to eat his meal. The food was worse than he remembered, but this time things were different. There were more people, it was a bigger war. Of _course _the food was going to be worse. He'd been allowed to keep his position as captain from his last few years of service, primarily because the army needed more men in the chain of command, and less second lieutenants.

"Who'd you leave?" He asked, realising that most of the people in the crowded room all had families and loved ones at home. Jeremy smiled a little, looking down at his food. He hadn't touched it, and it didn't look like he was going to any time soon.

"My wife and our new baby - born last week, never been a happier man." Jeremy explained. "She's absolutely gorgeous, looks just like my wife. She's what's keeping me going." He told him, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone and show Danny a series of photos of his wife and their baby. He couldn't help but smile, seeing the similarities between the two. If he ever got out alive, he promised himself he was going to speak to Clara about this sort of thing. He'd been planning on it anyway, but now, it just seemed like something they had to think about.

"She's beautiful." Danny said, looking over to the man. "You must be very proud, and I'm sure when she's older and you tell her all the stories about what you've done to protect her life, she'll be proud of you too." It sounded a little cheesy, but it appeared to give Jeremy some sort of comforting feeling, knowing that he was protecting his daughter and that she would be proud of him.

"How about you then, who's waiting at home for you?"

Danny smiled at Jeremy's question, just thinking about Clara making him feel like he was falling in love all over again. "My girlfriend and a couple of maths classes. I'm, used to be, a teacher." He told him, and now, it was his turn to take something out his pocket. Pulling out a small box, he showed the man the contents, a beautifully carved emerald stone in the ring. "I've been wanting to propose for a while, but the time never seemed right. I didn't think it'd really be fair on proposing and leaving her behind for 3 months, so when this is all over, I'm gonna ask her to marry me." He said cheerfully, closing the box and slipping it back into his uniform pocket. "Didn't want her finding it in case it ruined the surprise, so I brought it with me. I'm hoping that'll keep me going."

The two men continued to chatter, but Clara was now stuck in the front of Danny's mind. He was already worrying about her, and he just wanted to be by her side once more.

# # #

The next day at school was awfully quiet. Clara's sixth form class were missing half of the students, the boys all having gone off to fight. The staffroom was different, no Danny, no Adrian. The women were all left sitting alone marking quietly, their best friends (and in Clara's case, boyfriend) had gone off to war, and no one was in the mood for talking. The lessons were dull, mainly making posters or watching films to try and lift people's spirits. The people that seemed to feel the worst were the year 11 boys, practically paralysed with fear in every lesson. The fate of their older male peers, and their male teachers, was soon going to become theirs. Already, they were hearing of casualties. Two of the boys from Clara's form had been wounded in a roadside bomb the previous night, which had only made the day worse.

She'd tried to distract herself with marking, but by this point, she was running out of things to mark. Clara decided that it would be best to save the last few essays for a day when she was struggling to cope, when she missed Danny too much. For now, the picture would have to do. As she took it out of her purse to look at the passport sized picture of the two, she felt herself tearing up. Her Danny, she wanted him back. She'd been frightened before, but now that people she loved had already been hurt, it felt closer than ever.

"Danny, please come home…"

**_AN _**_So I hope you liked that chapter! Let me know in the reviews ;-) I'm hoping to keep on top of updating this fic, reviews will obviously prompt me to write more quickly!_


	3. Chapter 3

He'd been there a week and he hadn't spoken to Clara. He'd seen awful things, terrifying things, but not Clara's face. Danny missed her face, the dimples that formed when she smiled, the way her eyes sparkled in the sunshine. So the opportunity to call her and see her again was more than he could ask for. Unfortunately for Clara, time zones meant she was still at school, but that didn't stop her. Things had changed at the school, so a Skype session with Danny would be okay. After all, some of the girls in Clara's English class used to be in his form, so it would be nice for them all to see him again.

Clara set up the webcam to fit the whole class into the screen before she called Danny. Several rings went by, and Clara's heart was in her mouth. Was he okay? Had he been killed? Did he _want _to talk to her? When he answered, the class were shocked by what they saw. Danny had already been injured a little, and they all watched Clara's face turn to worry at the cut on his cheek. Danny smiled at them all, before he began to explain to Clara.

"Road side bomb, a bit of shrapnel hit me. Any closed and you'd have all lost the charming smile of Mr Pink." He teased, trying to keep his spirits up. A few members of the class laughed a little at his joke, but Clara simply looked more worried. "I'm fine though, Miss Oswald. How is my form behaving?" He asked Clara with a laugh. Clara couldn't believe her ears. He was smiling and laughing when all this was going on behind him, she didn't understand how.

"Danny, you almost got blow up and you want to know how your class are?!" She exclaimed in disbelief, before she realised they were all sitting around her.

"Sorry, sorry. They're fine; I'm just worried about you. We _all _are… Two of the boys—"

"I know, I'm their captain." He told her solemnly. His happy demeanour was gone now, and he was looked older, sadder. Clara didn't like it. "Same accident, only they came off worse. Alive, just about. But if they walk again, it'll be a miracle." Danny told the class, looking down. A few members of the form were shocked into silence. No one knew the extent of the injuries of the boys, but now they knew it all became more real. One of the girls started crying, only to be pulled into her friend's arms at the back of the class.

"Should've been me." He mumbled as he shook his head.

"Don't say that…" Clara whispered, as she began to get visibly upset herself. Before Danny could reply, a small explosion in the distance shook his webcam, and he looked instantly more alert. Still, he continued to talk to her.

"Clara, they're kids. Course they should've got shrapnel in their cheeks, I should be lying legless in hospital. It was my fault."

At Danny's words, Clara began to cry gently. She didn't understand how Danny was coping. Another explosion, closer, but still distant, struck fear into her heart. She wanted his three months to be over, so he could be safe and at home, even if it was only for a week. She was scared he wouldn't last that long, not now that they knew how badly hurt people so close to them were. One of the older students in the class came up to Clara and put an arm around her, Clara instinctively burying her head in the girls shoulder. Danny desperately wanted to be with her, to show her that everything was okay and that he wasn't hurt badly, but he couldn't be. As another explosion occurred, an alarm started roaring on Danny's end. Clara looked up sharply and Danny began to apologise.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." He said, several loud explosions being heard. The students all became terrified. They knew what had happened to their friend, to their maths teacher, and now it could happen to someone else they knew or loved. Danny felt awful for scaring his students and Clara so much. "I love you, Clara." He told her, before another explosion struck and the lights at Danny's base went out, the call being ended abruptly.

"Danny?" Clara said, sounding more worried and panicked than before. "Danny? Danny!" She called desperately, pulling away from the student and running up to the computer screen, praying that he'd be there, that it was just a glitch from the projector, but there was no response. Once again, she started to cry. This time, none of her students approached her. They were all as upset as her, and they didn't know how to approach her.

# # #

Clara left school early that day, which in her state, everyone understood. She went home and made herself a hot mug of tea, sitting on the sofa, turning on the news, and keeping her eyes glued to the screen until she had some sort of news about her boyfriend and his camp. It came after several hours, news that the camp was attacked, that bombs had taken out all of their power and several dozen men were injured, with seven dead. There were no names, and that scared Clara more. It meant there was a possibility that Danny was dead. She supposed the only sign that it might not have been him was the fact that she hadn't had a phone call telling her that he'd been killed. Did they do that anymore, though? Maybe so many men died, they didn't bother to call their loved ones about it. With a deep sickness in the pit of her stomach, Clara found herself staring at the television and begging for names to be announced. He'd only been there a week, he couldn't die, he just couldn't.

Even hours later, when the seven men were named, Clara didn't feel any better. She was still terrified, she still felt sick with fear, because he could be injured. They'd said that dozens of soldiers had been taken to hospital; one of them could have easily been him. She realised how selfish she was being, because some of her students were there too. While, thankfully, none of them had been killed, they too could have been in the hospital. Clara had to think about them too, and she had to think about the seven families who had just lost a loved one. One of the names rung a bell, but it was no one she knew.

She didn't stop waiting for news about Danny, and eventually fell asleep on the sofa, the television playing away to an empty room.

# # #

The next morning at school, the whole form seemed to be as groggy and as quiet as her. She hoped it wasn't because of what she'd shown them, what they'd seen when they'd spoke to Danny. Maybe they'd all just stayed up late, rather than worried about someone close to them. She hoped none of them had to go through that, they were all too young to lose anyone. And then, she realised.

"Where's Courtney Woods?" Clara asked, looking around for a sign of the girl. One of the others in the form looked around, realised no one else was going to say, and told her teacher quietly herself. The girl approached Miss Oswald and came to whisper in her ear.

"Her father got killed in the attack last night."


End file.
